Here Come the Pizza Gestapo

National Review Online, by Kevin D. Williamson Original Article
Posted By: Pluperfect[/URL]- 4/2/2017 5:11:47 AM [URL=‘’]Post Reply
How many different ways are there to make a Domino’s pizza? The answer might interest you. It might also interest the Food and Drug Administration — at least, it should. The nation’s franchise restaurants are about one month away from the imposition of new nutritional-labeling rules dreamed up by the Obama administration, another gift of the grievously misnamed Affordable Care Act. For outlets of brands with 20 or more locations, that means posting signs in the shop with calorie counts for every item on the menu and for every variation on that item. That’s probably not such a big deal

So every possible combination? I have over 20 toppings, in addition to our regular tomato based sauce and mozzarella cheese we also have 4 other sauces and 3 other cheese that we typically only use on specialty pizzas but are available on any pizza if the customer asks. we have thousands of potential variations if a customer wants to get creative.

I think this is more specific to each size, regular cheese, specialties, then the range for each topping from smallest to largest size. Still would be a pain in the ass

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I would just give the basic information. IE requirement per ounce, and then list the ounces to make all the pizzas. Boom you meet the requirement it just requires basic math skills… oh that’s right. American’s can’t be bothered to think for themselves anymore. my bad.

Remind me when I open up my 19th location not to open anymore.

If you want to read the regulations, the .pdf file can be downloaded here:

Sections 5.35 and 5.37 offer a couple pizza-specific examples of how to provide a calorie count that meets the requirements.

It is also important to note that the calorie counts are based on WHOLE pizzas, not servings. So make sure your people are well versed in explaining to your customers that while their favorite 16-inch pizza might contain an exorbitant number of calories as posted the actual calories consumed will depend upon the amount/number of slices actually consumed.
Tom Lehmann/The Dough Doctor

Ahh … math again

There’s ways around it legally. I said the same thing to myself. It’s already been like this is California for years. People do ask time to time where my calorie information is and my reply is and always will be the same: “it’s pizza, do you really want to know?” And being a Chicago place, I definitely don’t even want to see that info myself for my deep dish pies. There’s a pound of cheese in the small and two pounds in the large and you have to list the information per pie unless you’re selling slices.

I’m all ears for those legal “ways around it”. Care to share?

It says all 20 stores that have to have the same name, I guess you could just rename your stores after a certain level. That doesn’t quite work with branding but it is a work around. It also says they have to server the same food so possibly a menu modification would provide another work around. Theses are just off the cuff ideas and may not be actually viable.

I disagree that those are ways around the law. It’s like saying you got around the law requiring a pilot’s license to fly a plane by instead driving a car.

I’m still interested in the ways around the law if the law applies to you.

Hint: there is no way around it.

According to the National Review’s Kevin Williamson, Dominos executive Tim McIntyre said “We did the math. With gluten-free crusts to thick to hand-tossed to pan pizza, multiple sizes, cheeses, toppings . . . there are about 34 million possible combinations. That is difficult to put on a menu.”

That’s why the law allows you to put a range. I dislike the law, but that is a stupid thing to say.

There’s ways around it. Just have to be willing to go those routes.

Are they secret?

I think the whole thing is ridiculous, those who find that information important to their dietary needs will do the research to find out the nutritional info via quick web search. Having said that for those that have to comply, wouldn’t it be easiest to list out your sizes of pizza with sauce and cheese and then next to each possible topping ingredient list it as + calories? E.g. 6-cut small cheese pizza = 700 calories…Pepperoni +300 calories, Black Olives +100 calories, etc…? Just a thought…