On the lighter side

Even in tough times there’s a lighter side. This has to do with strange (not crank) call ins.
From time to time I’ll get a call asking if we have pepperoni. I find it amusing and usually answer with, "no we switched to tofu. But recently I’ve received a couple of calls right in the middle of the dinner hour, like 6 or 6:30pm asking if there’s still time to order a pizza. The first time I got such a inquiry I just said of course there’s plenty of time and stated my operating hours. The second time I got it, and it was a different customer, I thought if this is just a joke I’ll play along so I asked the caller if they we’re in the same time zone. The next time I got the same question I thought I’d take it to another level and answered, “no, we’re just here prepping and we’ll be open from midnight till 6am today”. By the way, each time the order was made and picked up and I made sure they received a take out menu. None of the customers could tell me why they thought a pizza shop would be closed right in middle of the dinner hour. AND they were not new customers!
Anyway, how about sharing some of your funnier calls. We work hard so we gotta laugh a little.

I had a call just last night that was kind of humorous…

The lady called in and said, “I would like a Large Pepperoni and Cheese Pizza”.

I said, “Sure, one Large Pepperoni”

She said, “No, I want a Pepperoni and Cheese pizza.”

I responded, “Absolutely, we put cheese on all of our pizzas”

She asked, “Is it extra to add cheese?” I was going to say, “No, only if you want extra cheese” BUT, I thought that would open up a whole new can of worms.

I jokingly replied, “When you buy a crust with sauce, we throw in the cheese for free.” We both laughed.

After we got her order worked out, I wondered… are there pizza places that don’t put cheese on pizzas or is this lady from another planet?

Another planet. Pluto maybe. Oh, wait. That’s not a planet anymore.

We used to have a soda machine that dispensed cans of pepsi products. You know you put the money in and press the button of the one that you want. Well one day I noticed someone looking at the machine like it was broke. I went over and asked what was wrong and the person said that they put money in and didn’t know what to do now.
I asked what they wanted and they said I want that one (pointing to Pepsi). So I pushed Pepsi and out came the can of Pepsi. They said “Wow, I thought that was just a picture. That sure is a fancy button.”

I tell this story often because it was nice to catch a scammer for once.

One Tuesday morning I had a woman call and tell me that they ordered 50 wings last night and now her whole family has food poisoning or salmonella and that I better pay her hospital bills, and give them something or she was going to sue me. I patiently listened and repeated probably 50 times " so you ordered the 50 wings last night, Monday night correct?" and she said “yes last night, Monday night!”

After some time she said so what are you going to do? and I replied “I want to know how you got 50 wings last night, Monday night when we are closed on Mondays!”

Phone went dead immediately!

If that happens to me, I am going to get information to “send her payment”, along with her phone number. I’m going to say that I need something in writing . . . and then hand the whole thing off to the police. Fraud, theft by deception and extortion would be fun to knock in the head one time.

My favorites are the people that call and ask for a “large pizza with everything.” We tell them it’s $56.37. “How can it be $56.37?”… “Well ma’am, it’s 22 toppings.” We actually have the price posted on the computers so everyone can have the price at hand.

Of course we know they want a combination, but we like to have a little fun with them :slight_smile:


Its actually very common for us that people want to make sure we put the cheese on because we naturally don’t include it when we read back the orders.

When people call and ask for pizza times we tell them 20 min for pick-up and 45 min for delivery. Many people laugh at this as they feel it is our way of influencing them to pick it up. Of course the pizzas come out of the oven at the same time but somehow in their heads they either think we delay the time for delivery or just don’t account for the driving time. That’s just one that always puzzles me.

Yeah, which is faster, pick up or delivery?