wanted to share this resume that i got today

Pizza Shop Talk The Think Tank
1

This lady dropped off a resume and i had to share it.

Normally you would take time and care to make a nice resume so you get the job.

I am typing this word for word and spelling the way she did so you fully understand how bad it is. I changed the name though.

LINDA SMITH LINE COOK
TEN YEARS EXPERIENCE BREAKDFAST, LUNCH, DINN

-ER COOK

CREATING OF ARE IN OMLETTES, EGGS DONE ANY WAY /

ALSO BAKING COOKING MEATS TO PERFECTION TO CUSTOMER / PREPING SALADS CUTTING MEATS AND COOKING POTATOS CREATIVLY PASTAS AND PIZZAS LUCNHES AS WELL AS WELL SUB SANDWICHES KNOWING RIGHT TEMURTURES, HOLDING TIMES FOR MEATS ALSO COLD HOLDING TIMES FOR ALL

FOODS AS WELL

CLEANENESS IS A MUST

EXPERIENCE:

KRISTIS RESTERANT

COOKED FOR 300 PEOPLE IN BANQUESTS AS WELL AS BREAKFAST LUNCH DINNER SEAFOOFS

PREPED SALADS AND SANDWHICHES, AT LUNCH TIMING ON GETTING ORDERS OUT WAS FIFTEEN MINTUES ACCORDING TO HOW WELL DONE MEATS ARE IS WANTED BY CUSTOMER OR A 3 MINUTES EGG POACHED, IT IS AN ART ALL SO DID ORDERING AND ALSO STOCK AND FRIEIGHT WORKED FOR KRISTIS RESTERANT FOR TEN YEARS FOM JUNE 1990 TO JUNE 2000

CONTACTS

RAMADA INN PORTLAND OREGAON

KIM SMITH MANGER LETTER OF REFERANCE PHONE IS NOW 555-555-5555

WORKED IN COFFEE SHOP MAKING ALL BREAKFAST ITEMS ALL LUNCH ITEMS DELI ITEMS AND SALADS FOR DINNERS

PRIME RIB, STEAK CHOPS BACON BINNERS HOME MADE LAZONIA AND BAKE
ED HOME MADE ITEMS

WORKED FROM 1974 - 2001

WORKED TWO JOBS FOR YEARS AS WELL

SOFT SKILLS; DEPENABLE, TEAM PLAYER, COMPATIONATE. ON TIME, RELAABLE, HONEST, CHERFUL, GET THE JOB DONE ATTITUDE, CO WORKING TEAMPLAYER

ALWAYS BUSY WORKING I LIKES LOTS OF OVER TIME…

CONTACT ME AT xxxxxxxxx@YAHOO.COM

I did not make any of this up, it was a 2 page resume that was spelled and worded word for word just like i typed it. The whole resume was in CAPS.

2

I would guess English is not this person’s first language? Because that would explain the resume.

It actually sounds like this person has a lot of experience in the kitchen though!

3

The sad part was that she was white, and 250lbs 5 foot tall and no teeth

I should clairfy, we are not even hiring, we are over staffed in the first place.

my point was, when applying for a job normally you never meet face to face with the person looking at your resume and if you want to get hired you need to make your self as presentable as possible

4

That resume could have been taken for my stack of winners. I know I am not hiring a secretary but really people need to at least have someone proof read for them.

5

That was great…made my day. I guess the no teeth really helped her when sounding out the words…lol

6

If every said is true, sounds like someone who would be a great worker.

She obviously has some literacy issues.

Kudos to her for not just sitting at home and sucking on the government teet.

7

If you read the thing out loud to your self it is 10x funnier

8

She may be an honest and dependable worker. The original poster makes grammar, punctuation and syntax errors in every post, just like the person applying for a job. I wouldn’t be so quick to make fun of people, particularly those on the low step of the wage ladder.

Why don’t you do something constructive instead of denigrating her? Call her in and tell her that you don’t have any jobs available at the moment, then write a resume for her that will help her find a job. Be decent instead of condescending.

9

I dont proof read my posts. Im not trying to get a job on PMQ

So thanks anyways

10

It’s funny/sad to read, of course, but at least this is an honest resume. It tells you something about the person that wrote it, and isn’t that the point? Competently/professionally written resumes, spell-checked and proof-read, can be generated by any idiot with minimal computer skills - but they tell you nada about the person. I would wager that EVERY WORD on this resume is 100% truthful.

11

We often get resumes from people looking for work with similar grammar and spelling mistakes. They are mostly from foreign students seeking part time work while not studying. We call then written in “chinglish” (taken from the instruction sheets you get from Chinese made goods where they have translated from Chinese to English). For us most are from countries where English is not the first language and often they have only picked it up once they settle here.
None the less anyone going for a job should have someone proof read and maybe even re-write it so it is pesentable - first impressions are extremely important.
How many good decent workers have failed to get to the job interview stage because of a poorly presented resume such as this one.
Yes, at times I have chuckled at some of the resumes that have come in, but in the end of the day it must be put into perspective that people are truly seeking work despite any educational handicaps they have. Shame they can’t go that one step further and get someone to look over it, but often they don’t have this qualified/suitable peer group.

Dave

12

True. And to the same degree, that woman was not trying to get a job as a proof reader or novelist, so why put so much weight on the style of her resume versus the substance?

If this woman was simply lazy and couldn’t be bothered proofing her resume, then that is one thing. But I’m going to assume that is not the case here, and that some other “problem” exists.

Just poor form to publicly make fun of someone who seems to be a reasonably productive member of society despite her obvious literacy problems. Like I said above, at least she is not sitting on the couch collecting welfare.

(BTW, why is it sad that she was white? White people are supposed to be able to write better resumes?)

13

I said she was white because some people said that the resume read like it was written by a foregnier.

that all i was trying to clear up

FYI: i did not post her name or picture, so how its a big deal that i shared this resume is beyond me. There is nothing on here that ties back to her

I just thought that some other like minded business people would get a kick out of that resume, because im sure they get the same kind of things from time to time

14

FOREIGNER
for·eign·er   [fawr-uh-ner, for-]
–noun

  1. a person not native to or naturalized in the country or jurisdiction under consideration; alien.
  2. a person from outside one’s community.
  3. a thing produced in or brought from a foreign country.
  4. Nautical . a foreign vessel.

:wink:

BTW, I love poorly written resumes. They are insanely entertaining. I also believe substance is the most important but it is always better to have perhaps a friend or relative possibly proof-read and spell check it. We arent even open yet and I’ve received resumes from people I would surely consider hiring but never ask to draft a letter for me, haha.

15

Ah, sorry, I misunderstood. I’m not sure how being white means non-foreign, as there are many non-english speaking nationalities whose populations are mostly white (German, French, Dutch, etc…).

16

Thanks for sharing Jokegerm. I got a good laugh out of it and took it the way it was intended to be taken.

Geez… You guys must be bored now that Gregster and PPG are gone. Give it a rest and quit being so critical of every little thing that is said or posted. Try kicking your dog or running over a small woodland creature with your car. Maybe that will help you relieve your uptight, easily offended, aggressive behavior.

17

good call,

she was american

18

I think the concept of “white” depends on your geographical location. Here in the midwest, we don’t have a lot of non-citizens who are white (excluding exchange students). I got a laugh out of reading that, it let me know I’m not the only one that gets these bizarre submissions.

My personal favorite is when people call me or stop in the store during the lunch hour to ask if I’m hiring. It’s a clear sign that they lack certain cognitive abilities that I need from my employees (I also love to b***h out salespeople who call me during the lunch hour).

19

+1

20

+2. I know they do that because they have a better chance of having a decision maker there, but if you call during my lunch or dinner rush and then pester me there’s no chance I’m going to buy anything from you.

I also disqualify any employees that ask for an application and then say “I’ll bring this back”. No, if you’re serious about wanting a job here spend ten minutes filling out the application in the dining room. I don’t know why that bothers me, but it does.

Perhaps we’re getting too picky in this loose labor market. Two years ago I was happy just to have somebody apply!