I empathise with you completely after going through panic attack stress condition about 10 years ago through work loads etc.
Funny thing is after being raced to hospital at 4am by ambulance, being put on medication (got off it quick smart), seeing a pysc. etc, I finally self analysed what caused it in the first place.
The main factor that tipped me over the edge was so trivial, but a part of a whole process of building up of stress. I looked back at it and had a really good think about what mattered most. I also convinced myself that there are only so many hours in the day and only so many things you can do.
Now I have a pizza shop and have been going through heaps of good and bad in the 14 months I have had it. The worst was losing my manager when he fell down a seaside cliff and broke a bone in his hand (now has been off 13 weeks). At first I cursed and wondered how I could cope as I would have to take on his shift as well as mine which meant 100+ hours 7 days per week.
In the end I just re-organised my priorities ( my garden is overgrown, the pool is green) and made sure I used every bit of down time to relax and unwind. I make sure I play 9 holes of golf (badly - no correct that, very badly
) every Wednesday morning and go for late breakfast or lunch every Sunday with my wife, sometimes even take in a movie.
I have just completed 14 weeks straight 7 days per week with only Christmas day off, yet I feel totally relaxed and stress free.
The real enlightener came last week when my manager came in and told me that he had just had another cast put on and that torn ligaments in his hand haven’t healed yet (will pobably need an operation to fix which means another 12 weeks off), plus he is off on a two week cruise next week. :evil:
I have kept his job open but with this extended time off I have now decided to terminate him and put someone else on. I have to move on and my business which is funded by my house is my main concern. (can’t wait for all the knockers to have a go at me again over this). You know what? After making this decision I have felt the best I have since he went off with his injury. I know in my heart that I gave him an opportunity to return to his job,but as a small business I have to have a manager and unfortunately I cannot afford to keep his job open forever. I took control of the situation that has been stressful for me and I made an affirmative decision that will benefit me, my wife, my family life and our business.
The real matter of this post is that you can decide to let the stress get to you and take you down in the deep balck hole it can create or you can decide to look at the situation and change what is causing the stress.
Until you can create a clear thinking mode and stop worrying about the things that may, or will never happen then you will never go forward.
Remember this and remember it well. There are only 24 hours in a day and you only have two hands (I hope you still have both). You can only do what you can do with the resources you have been given. You can do less but you can’t do more.
Don’t worry about the things that you have no control over. Focus on what you can directly control and do them well.
I think with the right direction, relaxation and laughing you will get out of the rutt you are in.
Take it from someone who has been there and come right back out smiling.
Best of luck and keep your chin up and listen to advise from all your friends on this forum, because I would believe that most would have felt like you have at some time or another.