This is one we were using back in 2006. It saw 352 redemptions from 8565 mailed for a pull of 4.1% during the time I worked to keep track.
“You be the judge - if this isn’t the best pizza in town –
I’ll give you your money back – every penny.
Plus, just for giving us a chance, you’ll get a
FREE order of a dozen breadsticks, and two FREE cokes.â€
Dear Neighbor,
Hi, my name is Brad Randall and I own one of the busiest independent pizza companies in the country – Aver’s Gourmet Pizza. We make our award-winning pizzas for take-out or delivery right here in town.
But, since every place claims to have the “best food around†– and even though I have high hopes of earning your trust and confidence – I realize I’m asking you to take a chance on us.
Now, I could tell you all about how we mix our dough fresh daily in-store, make alternative pizza sauces like Pesto and Alfredo from scratch, or offer 30+ pizza toppings – ranging from artichoke hearts to pepperoni to zucchini.
But in the end if we’re going to earn your business, you have to try it – you have to taste it for yourself. And, that’s why I’ll do anything I can to get you to order your first Aver’s pizza.
So, what I want to do is make you an irresistibly delicious offer – and I’ll take all the risk!
If I have to throw in a FREE Order of a Dozen Breadsticks – I will. If I have to further tempt you with two FREE fountain drinks - I’ll do that too!
If I have to put my neck on the line with an – iron clad, money back if you’re not absolutely delighted – 100% satisfaction guarantee – I’ll do that too!
All you need to do is order one of our delicious 14†Large Pepperoni pizzas for our every-day price of $9.69 and the rest is FREE! I’ve attached a GIFT CERTIFICATE for that very offer to this letter.
So come on, give us a try! Take a look at the menu printed on the reverse side – choose which one of the dipping sauces you’d like to go with your FREE breadsticks and which two kinds of fountain drinks you’d like for FREE – then give us a call.
And, if our gourmet pizza doesn’t live up to your expectations – if you don’t enjoy it in every way - just let me know right away and I’ll give you your money back! I’d just love for you to give us a try.
Hope to see you soon – sincerely,
(Brad Randall)
P.S. Please – take us up on this offer tonight! (But definitely before the coupon expires) The FREE Breadsticks and two FREE drinks are yours with the purchase of a 14†Large Pepperoni pizza at menu price – and if you’re not 100% satisfied, your money back – every penny!
Then we thought that the “pepperoni force” was a detraction so we changed it up a bit…
“You be the judge - if this isn’t the best pizza in town –
I’ll give you your money back – every penny.
Plus, just for giving us a chance, you’ll get a
FREE order of a dozen breadsticks, and two FREE cokes.â€
Dear Neighbor,
Hi, my name is Brad Randall and I’m a founder of one of the freshest pizza concepts in the country – Aver’s Pizza. I offer my delicious pizzas for both take-out and delivery – including signature pizzas that have earned national recognition!
But, since every place claims to have the “best food around†– and even though I have high hopes of earning your trust and confidence – I realize I’m asking you to take a chance on us.
Now, I could tell you all about how the dough is mixed fresh daily in-store, how our signature Tomato sauce is loaded with spices instead of sugar, or that a selection of 30+ toppings – ranging from artichoke hearts to pepperoni to three varieties of sausage – can be put on any pizza.
But in the end if I’m going to earn your business, you have to try it – you have to taste it for yourself. And, that’s why I’ll do anything I can to get you to order your first Aver’s pizza.
So, what I want to do is make you an irresistibly delicious offer – and I’ll take all the risk!
If I have to throw in a FREE Order of a Dozen Breadsticks – I will. If I have to further tempt you with two FREE fountain drinks - I’ll do that too!
If I have to put my neck on the line with an – iron clad, money back if you’re not absolutely delighted – 100% satisfaction guarantee – I’ll do that too!
All you need to do is purchase one of our delicious pizzas, any combo and size, and the rest is FREE! I’ve included a GIFT CERTIFICATE for that very offer in this letter – please mention it when ordering.
So come on, give us a try! Order your favorite combination - or take a look at the menu I sent you and see which one of our amazing signature pizzas starts your mouth watering - then give us a call. You’ll taste why Aver’s Pizza has been a Hot 100 Independent - one of the busiest independent pizza companies in the country – for 7 years running!
And, if our pizza doesn’t live up to your expectations – if you don’t enjoy it in every way - just let me know right away and I’ll give you your money back! I’d just love for you to give us a try.
Hope to see you soon – sincerely,
Brad Randall
P.S. - Please take us up on this offer tonight! (But definitely before that dreaded expiration date) The FREE Breadsticks and two FREE drinks are yours with the purchase of any pizza at menu price – and if you’re not 100% satisfied, your money back – every penny!
In 2007 (while I tracked it), this version pulled 452 redemptions from 4718 mailed for a pull of 10%. I think I made three changes: one being allowing the customer to order whatever pizza they wanted, the second being including a full menu in the mailing instead of just printing some version on the reverse side of the letter (these were from when we started doing full-color printed mailings) and the third was talking up our accolades a bit more.
This is why I suggest doing an A/B split test. You might stumble on a change that doubles your response rate!
Back when we used to do Moving Targets (and offering a free pizza), our return rates were over 25% and were even higher when I changed their vanilla starting text to the format of a MDL…
Aver’s Pizza wants you to accept this Gift Certificate
WITH OUR BEST WISHES FOR SUCCESS IN YOUR NEW HOME!
That’s Right, Mr. X
To introduce ourselves – and to acquaint you with this area’s finest pizza – here’s a totally FREE GIFT CERTIFICATE.
Hi, my name is Brad Randall and I own one of the busiest independent pizza companies in the country – Aver’s Gourmet Pizza. We make our award-winning pizzas for take-out or FREE delivery right here in Bloomington.
But, since every place claims to have the “best food around†– and even though I have high hopes of earning your trust and confidence – I realize I’m asking you to take a chance on us.
Now, I could tell you all about our Cajun chicken, oven-roasted red potatoes, spicy pepperoni or our 30+ other pizza toppings – ranging from artichoke hearts to zucchini. I could ballyhoo our 3 signature pizzas that have won awards at pizza competitions around the country. Or, I could mention that we’ve been voted Best Pizza in Bloomington by the readers of both the Herald Times and the Indiana Daily Student.
But in the end if we’re going to earn your business, you have to try it – you have to taste it for yourself. And, that’s why I’ll do anything I can to get you to order your first Aver’s pizza.
So, what I want to do is make you an irresistibly delicious offer – and I’ll take all the risk! I have included a gift certificate for a totally FREE pizza with this letter.
It’s good for one FREE 14†LARGE PIZZA (your choice of DELUXE: Topped with Pepperoni, Ground Sausage, Fresh Mushrooms, Red Onions and Green Peppers; or VEGGIE DELUXE: Fresh Mushrooms, Onions, Green Peppers, Black Olives and Fresh Tomato) – up to a $15.30 value!
This offer is valid for carry-out only. We want you to come in and see our operations for yourself and meet our people before you spend a single penny on our product! Please mention your gift certificate when ordering.
Our North store is located on the 45/46 Bypass, in the Marsh Supermarket complex, next door to Subway (one stoplight West of N. Walnut & College Ave.) – call 339-6555 to order from the North store. We open at 11am daily, and stay open late into the night.
We look forward to seeing you soon! Brad Randall, Owner.
AVER’S PIZZA: GOURMET PIZZA TO GO!
That was back in 2004. But we started to see a lot of redemptions that never resulted in 2nd orders, so we went to the “a couple free sides with a purchase” format. The thought is that anyone willing to spend some money is truly interested in our concept, whereas most anyone will grab a free pie whether or not they “get” what you are doing - and those people are less likely to convert into regular customers.
Is our assumption correct? I have no idea. I’d test it if our POS database wasn’t such rubbish.