Working with spouses

Pizza Shop Talk The Think Tank
1

how many of you work with your spouses and how do you make it work

dont get me wrong i love my wife and she does alot around here but she picks her days
we have a no cell phone policy in the store which i really try to stick to but my wife is always in hers checking facebook
and when i say something like we really need to lead by example she gets mad and says she isnt on it that much and [size=5]the fight is on[/size]

she is a very social and outgoing person but that can be a problem also because when we start getting a rush she tends to spend a little to much time talking with the customers and not helping out which tends to piss off the staff she has made 3 previous day shift cooks mad and quit which means i have to train a new one because she only knows how to fix the dinners and she cant slap out pizzas and her topping skills are very slow

so our lunches have been kinda slow so i figure i can run a few errands because tehy should beable to handle right [size=7]WRONG[/size] the students come in and all order dinners instead of eating the buffet the cook is in the middle of making a 10 pie order for the ag dept she gets 8-9 dinner orders and she is taking care of it pretty much order comes out she hits the bell, wife does’nt come, cook makes another order, rings the bell twice wife does’nt come, cooks makes a 3rd order as she is about to ring the bell wife comes in and says where art those cheese fries cook says they have been ready for about 10 minutes wife says well why didnt you ring the bell this in turns pisses of the cook which as i walk in cook is mad running around wife is up front socializing and says to me i don’t know what her problem is i cant keep working with her if she keeps getting mad

so i catch the cook in the walkin and ask whats up she says nothing i say tell me says i cant she is my boss i said no tell me then she proceeds to tell me everything that has transpired so I go and ask the wife she says no i was waitng on the customers and answeing the phones and taking out orders [size=5]the fight is on[/size]

i love my wife but tend to believe the cook because of past experiences

wife gets mad picks up her purse and sets down the cordless and proceeds to head for the door (3rd time this has happened in the past)

how do you handle this type of situation an employee you would counsel or fire but youre wife

think we have hit the point where we gotta work seperate from each other

sorry for the long vent but i figured i could get some empathy from the fellow pizzaolios

Dennis

2

Well, the first thing you need to do is buy a new keyboard, one that has commas and periods.haha just kidding.

Trying to get a smile before you get too serious.

Simple fix. You live with your wife. You work with the staff. Pick one that means the most to you and focus on that one issue. The rest comes in line afterwards.

bubba

3

thanks Bubba i know its gonna get better just very stressful right now

4

lol . i thought i was the only one with family problems @ work.

Cell Phones, 4 trips to the bathroom in 1 night, disappearing for 5 minutes outside, family think they run the store and can boss people around, eating in the middle of dinner rush, etc…

i’ve been thru the “how can i enforce a rule that you continually break”

I remember things at the end of the year when bonus time comes, and reward employees for sticking to the rules.

A talk is probably in order with your wife.

What bubba says is good advice…

5

Tough situation. Sounds like she really does not want to be there and if that’s the case its just not a good idea at all. Its one thing if she messes up, but completely another if she is taking it out on your staff.

Maybe you can just relegate her to taking orders and socializing with the customers? Sounds like she could be happy just doing that, the customer connection aspect is priceless, and since she is not part of the “operations” it eliminates employee problems.

My wife and I do not work well together but if I could just have her out front talking with people I would do it in a heartbeat. She has invaluable people skills that I don’t.

6

I guess I can say I’m a very lucky guy. We’re a young married couple. I’m 24 she’s 23. We both work about 70-80 hours/week at the pizzeria. We certainly get frustrated with each other from time to time, but it usually stems from the expected stress of running a business. We work extremely well together. With us there, we’re able to keep payroll at crazy low amounts.

My wife does absolutely everything at the pizzeria. She answer’s phones, waits on customers, gets all my boxes ready for my pizzas in the oven (on slower days when I do pizza/ovens on my own), makes salads, helps delivery guys when GPS fails, etc. Because of her great work ethic and ability to multitask, we’re able to handle relatively busy days with only 4 people. A phone girl/waitress (wife), pizza guy (me), cook, and delivery/dish guy.

If my wife is in the office, everyone knows it’s up to them to pick up the slack. No one gets mad at her if she doesn’t answer a phone or help the counter. Maybe my situation is different again since when she’s in there I’m sure 95% of her time is devoted to invoices, payroll, and other bookkeeping, but even if she was texting, skyping, facbooking, etc., as an owner, that’s her prerogative. I tell my employees that they’re paid to work. This isn’t a contract type of job that delegates certain tasks to certain people. Everyone understands their primary role at the pizzeria, but they all also know that it’s a group effort. Everyone needs to be able to answer phones, help customers, etc.

With that said, I hope she gets out of the pizzeria soon. This was my choice of career paths, not hers. She’s been remarkably patient through these past 6 months, helping to organize things and put us on the right track. It’s time for her to do what we both went to school for, and get a job doing some sort of accounting/finance work. It’ll be a good thing for the two of us. She’ll probably go from 80 hrs a week to 60 hours a week, doing 40 at a new job, and still doing some general bookkeeping for the pizzeria. Then with a second income, I wont feel as bad taking time off and letting the payroll go up a bit.

I guess that was my “vent”, which probably didn’t answer any of your questions. Maybe your wife’s role should be changed at the pizzeria. Let her be some sort of expediter. She should be perceived as an owner as well. Let her oversee that everything is running smoothly. If her style won’t allow her to focus on a specific job, spend the extra money to get a min wage waitress in there. Then your wife can feel free to float around, mingle with customers. etc.

If that doesn’t work, maybe the pizzeria isn’t for her. Is she happy there? If she’s not happy working there now I can’t imagine there being a reason for things to ever change.

Either way, good luck :slight_smile:

7

Just some more information for the soup bowl. It sounds like you’re both knee deep in operations. Does it have to be that way??

For me, I hired my significant other as a Advertising Director with additional duties as book keeper and records clerk. She’s talented with the MAC and does extremely well in that role and really adds to the business. It frees me to over-see operations and focus on building business and managing personnel!!

8

Dennis i know exactly what you are talking about. I have the same issues with my wife (not problems but issues). One a friday night I am busting my a$$ in the kitchen and she is out front in the ac dining room. The stress in the back is HIGH, and she is up front and when I got the world on my shoulders just treading water in the back and she comes thru the swinging doors with a smile and says I just got another 6 top I think I am gonna expolde.
In the past year I have come to understand her strengths and avoid her weakness. I never really appreciated all the chatting she did with the customers but over the last year I have really noticed the customers coming back and taking a personal interest. Also if she is on facebook as much as you say then you need to make sure she is overseeing your facebook page, then when you see her you can just say hey are ya updating the facebook? even if she isnt you can always push her in that direction.
Lastly what I always tell my employees is I pay you to follow the rules, not her…now if you want to volunteer we can talk…
again please dont minimize the work she is doing as she is adding an important interaction with the most important people, the customers

9

Seemed like such a good idea at the time…right?

Hubby and I opened at 23 and 28. After 16 years we finally found something that works…keep in mind things don’t just happen you gotta make them happen. I don’t think it was the 16 years of working together only which helped us figure it out but the 20 years of marriage we have shared figuring it out.

Clearly what you are doing is NOT working. Period if it was an employee they would be terminated. And on your wife’s side if it was a regular job she would have quit already.

We hear alot of what she doesn’t or won’t do…what CAN she do? Clearly she is a facebook fanatic…are you on facebook?

She’s social…good with customer relations…why not have her come in as just that…not a cook, not phones just a completely EXTRA person who’s job it is to greet. Don’t schedule her a whole shift. Just the rush.

How’s the home life? Probably as confused as work. Perhaps she could be the caretaker. Working on keeping the family caught up. Set out specific job duties so it doesn’t end up being a reason to watch tv all day. Wouldn’t it make your life easier if she was in charge of taking out garbage, cooking for family, laundry, decorating, cleaning etc. Taking care of herself taking care of you the kids.
There are so many things she can do. My job duties no longer have me being IN the restaurant. I have an office at home and deal with the books, marketing, and the house. I excersise everyday as part of my job because years of dissatisfaction and mis communication did add a few pounds. I finally have a job I love and my husband loves me having. We both have areas we excel and we utilize those gifts to strengthen our life. ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO…SHE IS YOUR WIFE-YOU ARE A TEAM!

10

I am laughing because I am “the wife” that a lot of you describe. I quit my career job 8 years ago to help full time in the shop. The first year I worked every day all day in the shop doing the job like everyone else, and I hated it. This was not my dream to open a pizza shop…it was my husband’s, but we are a team and we are building it together. Finally, I think we both realized that my strengths were not in slapping out the dough or running the ovens and it was making me miserable. So now on the days that I have to be there I expedite, I talk and chat with the customers, I answer phones and be the “second” mother and listen to the employees when they need a sympathetic ear. Sure I jump in and help when it’s needed - but I love my job a whole lot more now. We have moved our office to the house and my primary role is the financial end of things, payroll, marketing, paperwork, Facebook, etc. – and I only occasionally have to work in the store or deliver when we’re shorthanded. His job is to run the store, run the staff, and run the operations. He’s happier, the staff is happier, and I am definitely more happier.

I too was the wife who picked up my stuff and walked out on a couple of busy nights because I got mad about something (this is really embarrassing to admit), but we don’t ever want to get into disagreements in front of the staff. It doesn’t look good to argue in front of them and also makes things uncomfortable for everyone. So that being said, I love the fact that my husband and I get to have the opportunity to run this business together and work towards a common goal for ourselves. It’s been a little bumpy a couple of times but we’ve each carved out our positions and work great together and we wouldn’t have it any other way – we’re a team.

11

Thanks guys for all the input

RobT- have had family work and they are the worst because they think you wont fire them haha

pizzapirate- gonna probably do just that

NYFLPizza- no disrespect but you guys are still in the honeymoon phase we have been married 23yrs and in businesses
together for 10+ yrs but i am glad its good now for ya

Pizza2007- might just send her to night school and get some education on quickbooks & advertising

Rockstar - your right she does’nt get paid and she does pull her wait most of the time

Kris- we are going to discuss exactly that today what she wants to do is important to me

so this might weird some people out but i have been an on again off again christan and after yesterday i reallized that God has been testing me on how i handle my business. we started opening up on Sundays about 8-9 months ago. my thinking was maybe we can pull in some extra cash and help with the bills after looking at the numbers we have actually dropped in sales i have stopped tithing because i am here 7 days a week 10-12hrs a day and the sales we do on Sundays just cover the expenses for that day this has played a huge part in my stress and my spiritual drop so as of 10/24/2010 we will be closed on sundays so that me and my family can spend time together w/o the worry of what is happening at the store, this in turn lets me cut a couple of employees and save money on payroll.

so my wife and i talked and discussed what had happened and we figured outthat the cook was not prepared for the rush she just assumed it was gonna be another slow day and that we wouldn’t have a customer for about 30 mins after opening and didnt get the kitchen setup peroperly so when it hit hard she collapsed and started freaking out so it was a prep failure which lead to this whole blowup so the cook and i are going to have alittle heart 2heart today

12

Fat Boy, I admire you for realizing you have the commitment to your wife and family first, AND for realizing that sometimes, for some of us, Sundays are meant to be for something else besides pizza. I know it’s not that way in all households and I respect that as well, just saying…to come through this and notice that other important parts of our life were being impacted, kudos to you.

13

Thanks Deacon

14

Have her put that facebook to work, get a page for your store, have her get customers to friend it, offer specials… sounds right up her alley :slight_smile:

Hubby and I fight too… we do good though to keep our differences at home, and try to be stable for the staff. We just don’t want them confused or frustrated. I can’t say though that we haven’t been heard from the walk-in a time or two :oops:

15

Hey, Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays, company wide, and they seem to have built up a pretty nice business. :smiley:

16

Thanks sailor we have had a few discussion s in teh walk in also

hey you pirate gonna try and stop in and see you this next weekend while in souther cali

17

You’ve hit the nail on the head with working with family. Golly gee, sometimes, you need 'em, but other times, they cause more trouble than they seem to be worth.

If running a business isn’t what she wants to do, GREAT. Let her work somewhere else (literally). Let her enjoy doing what she likes to do. If your wife made $12 an hour working somewhere and had to pay $8 an hour to a babysitter to watch the kids, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she’s spinning her wheels at work, as far as contributing to the family nest egg. However, it may be what she needs for her own sanity.

I’m trying to involve my wife in the planning of my restaurant, but I am adamant that there has to be ONE person in charge. I will gladly listen to any of her ideas for menu items, design, all that jazz, but in the end, this is MY dream. I want her to be as large a part of it as she wants, but without the business, there’s no income. Without income, the home life will suffer a whole lot more than firing her. Don’t get me wrong, she has a passion for her own business as well, and I support her in it, but my role is #2 (or lower), she calls all the shots. If she needs me, I’ll be there and help out in any way I can. I expect the same of her.

Just another story from my past. I ran a small pizza joint (even that is a stretch). Well, on a busy night (did I fail to mention I was the only employee?), I called my wife (now ex-wife) for help. She was in college, so she had school during the day, homework at night, all the stuff that comes with college. She comes in and asks what I need her to do. Well, she knew ZERO about the business of making pizzas. I told her I needed her to wash dishes. After complaining for close to an hour, I thanked her for her assistance and told her I had it all under control now. She washed almost no dishes, complained the WHOLE time, and I never again asked her to help me. When she offered, no matter what, I was fine and didn’t need any help. I knew she didn’t have “what it takes” to work in a restaurant and thought that “all you do is make pizzas”. Forget that I’d worked for the big chains for a couple of years, had trained on their dime, and had good speed, accuracy, etc. She wanted to come in as the manager (assuming that they sit around all day watching the money pour in). I believe the majority of folks here are still in the owner/operator phase, which means sometimes the owner is the one cleaning the toilets.

It sounds as though Fat Boy’s wife doesn’t understand the grit, but only the glam. Sadly, I never found the glam :). IMHO, the secret to a happy marriage is to get your wife the bleep out of the kitchen. If your employees don’t respect her (and it seems clear that they don’t), they’re not happy and she’s not happy. Replacing the employees won’t fix the problem (as you’ve already experienced). If you have a nice sized dining area, I suppose she could be the “dining room manager” or “hostess”. However, if the rule is “no cell phones at work”, then management/family should abide by that rule. The natural exception is “performing business duties”. Posting to Facebook as the business qualifies. Chatting it up with friends and playing mafia wars, doesn’t.

Family, especially immediate family, must be held to a higher standard by you. The employees already hold your wife to a higher standard.